For this Christmas I ended up getting the one gift I needed most this year, God's love and mercy. Just like everyone else I can get wrapped up in long to-do lists and the hurried pace of the holiday season. Unfortunately it seems that I had a wake-up call this year to set me back straight to what is really the meaning behind Christmas and what I should be focusing on.
I will always believe that family traditions is very important but sometimes in an attempt to make these traditions picture perfect I can forget why I am doing it; for family. Some of my readers may already know that my daughter, Ashley, had been in the ICU this week.
She started having numbness on her right side and then suddenly had uncontrolled seizures. Even after a steady flow of drugs she continued to seize throughout Sunday and Monday. Monday afternoon we chose to intubate her in an attempt to gain control. She still continued to have small seizures through Tuesday but by Wednesday the storm seemed to calm. She was able to be released Christmas Eve night and with the help of my husband we were able to maintain much of our Christmas traditions. (Note Walgreen's Pharmacy is one of the only open 24 hours on Christmas Eve and Day)
Ashley has had seizures most her life and I have grown accustom to this. However in the back of my mind I have a crazed fear of losing her. I know that all parents worry from time to time but this can sometimes get out of control. This episode of seizures were worse than any I had seen and I was devastated in fearing the worse. When facing these critical moments I tend to feel that I am battling this alone and can be snappy to the people closest to me. Namely my poor husband.
I know that life has been different than what I had hoped for but it is a very good life. With this holiday scare I came to realize that I need to change my mindset from walking on pins and needles to one of joy. I need to learn to enjoy what I have now in this moment and force myself to accept those things outside of my control and release my worry and fears to God.
Not everyone has the Norman Rockwell Christmas and that is alright, because I have the crazy Cornelius Christmas.
Thanks to all who sent their love and prayers for my daughter's recovery. I hope that everyone had a very blessed and peaceful Christmas and have a prosperous and fantastic New Year.
1 comment:
I'm praying for you and your family! Wishing you God's richest blessings in the New Year!
Angie
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